I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

                          Psalm 27:13-14

Shortly after my first visit with my oncologist, Dr. Nadeau, he sent me to the Sarah Cannon Research Institute in Nashville, Tennessee to see about the availability of a clinical trial. At that point it was decided that I would go through chemo with the understanding we would be notified when a clinical trial was available for me. God truly sustained me as I went through almost nine rounds of chemo with some fatigue and slight nausea but amazingly well. Due to a low white count and low platelets I had to quit, but my CT scan showed remarkable improvement at that time. At my doctor’s appointment last week, Thursday the 30^th, since my liver enzymes were elevated again and my CT showed tumor growth, I was immediately scheduled to go to Nashville this past Wednesday, November 6^th, to pursue a clinical trial. Monday morning, November 4^th, I received the call that at this time there is no clinical trial available for me. I have heard such good reports about clinical trials so was shocked—I had to hang on for dear life as the roller coaster of my emotions were again set into motion. Tuesday, November 4^th, my sweet sister-in-law called me because she had done a lot of research and looked into the Cancer Center of America, which now has a liver specialist in Atlanta. I again felt a surge of hope. Sadly they are not in my insurance network so again another option thwarted. What next?

Dr. Nadeau had talked to me about other chemo drugs that are more “generic” but my question is: IF my body can’t handle the specific drugs anymore that are targeted for my cancer then how can these more generalized ones which will kill healthy tissue be the answer? This past Thursday, November 7^th, I went back to see Dr. Nadeau and talk about my options. I asked him to let me take the rest of the month totally focusing on my holistic lifestyle. I had still been following it but after starting back to school had not been quit as vigilant. He agreed, but I was crushed later that day when I received my liver enzyme reports and saw that they had increased significantly in one weeks time—even though during that week I had surpassed all my previous holistic efforts with more juicing, more hot baths, more infer-red and eating basically a raw diet.

Last week I made a promise to God that anytime I felt stressed I would spend fifteen minutes focusing on His blessings, goodness and promises—

The Lord is my Shepherd—I SHALL NOT WANT!

Psalms 23:1

Sing to the Lord,

For He has done excellent things;

This is known in all the earth.

Isaiah 12:5

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord,

Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 

And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Last night, Dr. Nadeau returned my call because I feel at a loss—I am afraid to wait till the first of December with my liver enzymes increasing rapidly and my bone fatigue increasing. It is such a painfully hard decision! Yesterday I sent off a packet to the Burzynski Clinic—an option in Houston, Texas.

Established in 1977, the Burzynski Clinic has grown to a world-renowned cancer center that provides advanced and cutting-edge cancer treatments. The clinic is nationally as well as internationally recognized.

Their Mission

For over 35 years, Dr. Burzynski's cancer research and care has been inspired by the philosophy of the physician, Hippocrates, to "First, do no harm." True to this philosophy, our approach to treatments are based on the natural biochemical defense system of our body, capable of combating cancer with minimal impact on healthy cells.

In everything we do, we are proudly committed to these values and to continue cancer research. Our mission is to beat cancer.

For more information the website is:

 http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/burzynski-clinic.html

I am SO thankful for all the love, support and prayers on my behalf this past year! I would appreciate specific prayers that when I have my liver enzymes drawn next Wednesday that they will not have elevated more, and if they have that God will give me the peace I need to make a painfully tough decision—

These past six to eight months have truly been some of the best of my life—something I NEVER would have dreamed of a year ago. I have never felt such love and support—THANK YOU to each one of you for the part you have played in making this possible!!!! You are each SO special to me!

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8.9

I still plan to have my "Celebration for Life" this Friday evening at my home, November 15th, one year past my initial diagnosis. It will be between the hours 5:00 to 8:30pm--drop in as convenient!

God is SO good and I am SO blessed!