Cancer Update

December 27, 2012

I can hardly believe Christmas has come and gone—It has been one of my best Christmases ever because I didn’t have to leave on Saturday night to go to work! Every cloud definitely has a silver lining behind it. I did miss my Northside friends, and hope and pray everyone remembered the true meaning of the season and was touched by the beauty of the nativity story. Its true meaning is what gives me hope as I travel down this road of the hardest journey of my life— fighting cancer!

Going to Eden Valley was truly an awesome experience! When I got there I had to have help getting out of the car, but while I was there my strength was definitely renewed! The people were truly awesome and as we cried, laughed and prayed together I was healed emotionally and spiritually. The routine was very relaxed and it was wonderful to be able to sleep and sleep and sleep. I drank enough carrot juice to turn me orange, kale juice and wheat grass till I’m sure my body was oozing health from every pour! I never knew vegan food could be so good but their food was truly delicious!! There was a Far Infrared Hothouse Dome in my room that I used several times a day which the results are similar to radiation without the harmful effects. Every evening I met with Suzanne who was my wonderful therapist and I took a “hot bath” that superficially raised my temperature to 103⁰ to 104⁰. The research behind this and the infrared is that getting the internal organs above a certain temperature helps to kill cancer cells. Gradually my energy returned and I began walking more and more every day until I was able to climb two mountains while I was there. The first one was a four mile round trip with a 1,400 feet altitude gain and the second three and a half miles with 1,200 feet altitude gain. Those experiences as I viewed God’s great creation from the summit were exhilarating. This experience always makes me think of one of my favorite Bible chapters—Isaiah 40:

“.  .  .Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand,
Measured heaven with a span
And calculated the dust of the earth in a measure?
Weighed the mountains in scales
And the hills in a balance?

Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,
And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,
Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.

Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Friday morning after returning home, I went to my see Dr Nadeau, my new oncologist who I am extremely happy with. He called later in the week with his update after meeting with the radiologist and his team of oncologists—they all agree that my kind of cancer is consistent with a Cholangiocarcinoma.  Also, after having the CT reviewed they assured him there is not a mass on my pancreas.   The interesting thing is that Cholangiocarcinoma has an annual incidence rate of 1–2 cases per 100,000 in the Western world. Of course I would be the one to get the rare kind of cancer-ha! Cholangiocarcinoma is considered to be an incurable and rapidly lethal malignancy unless both the primary tumor and any metastases can be removed surgically. No potentially curative treatment yet exists except surgery, but most patients such as myself, have advanced stage disease at presentation and are inoperable at the time of diagnosis. I am planning on starting chemo January 3, 2013. My sweet sister-in-law, who is a nurse anesthesia, has gotten deeply involved in my situation, and is going to every doctor appointment with me. When you hear the doctor taking about only ten to twelve months to live, I kind of zone out and miss the rest of the conversation! I do believe in miracles though and hope the holistic things I have been doing will help. I also believe that God is the true physician and the more serious my situation the greater the miracle IF He chooses to heal me. The most amazing thing is the sense of complete peace I have which I KNOW is due to the constant prayers which have surrounded me! I cannot begin to tell you how much I love you all and how much the cards, emails, phone calls and facebook comments have meant! I have the most amazing family and friends and your love, support and prayers are carrying me through!!

Graduation

Southern Adventist University allowed me to graduate early because of my diagnosis.  Terri Belknap, my wonderful sister-in-law, threw a awesome surprise party.  It was so much fun celebrating with family and friends.  I'm so blessed to be surrounded by so much love!  

Graduating as an Family Nurse Practitioner, December 19, 2012 

Cancer Diagnosis

November 28, 2012

To begin, I thought I would just give a short replay of the last 5 months. As many of you know I have been pursuing my masters in nursing and was hoping to finish this coming May. Last summer I developed a cough which I have not been able to get rid of. I have been to my primary doctor, a pulmonologist/asthmas/allergy doctor, had lab work, a chest x-ray—all of which have turned out completely normal. The first of November I asked my PA if she would repeat all of my lab work which she did. Even though I had had my liver enzymes drawn the end of July, and they were completely normal, she drew them again. Her office called me with the disturbing news that my liver enzymes were extremely high. She wanted to run more tests, but I just said “No, I’m tired of playing around, I want a CT scan.” On November 14, 2012 I had a CT scan. The girl that did the CT could not give me any results, but since I was in the medical profession allowed me to look at it. I could hardly breathe as I looked at MY liver that was over half black and looked like it has been burned! Then I looked at MY lungs and all my lung fields looked like I had been shot with a buck shot—they were covered with small, white masses!
Saturday night, November 21, my church has a wonderful anointing service for me. Our church was packed—I felt such an outpouring of love and support! As a nurse I know that once cancer has metastasized to the livers and lungs it is not a good prognosis! In the past I have seen people/friends whose lives have been extended because chemo, but lived years with no quality of life—that is not what I want. I had decided that I did not want to go that route! I am a natural person who does believe in modern medicine, but I believe even more in the power of healing through trust in God and a healthy lifestyle!
Yesterday I had my first oncology appointment and the oncologist was shocked at how healthy I appear compared to what he saw on paper. He discussed the new developments in chemo and felt I was a very good candidate and could expect positive results! He ordered a PET scan and MRI of my brain and breast—he does not feel that I have breast cancer, but he is very puzzled concerning the primary site of origin. On the drive home my mind was spinning and my sense of peace was gone, I was very confused! I sat in the back of the car wanting to cry but all I could do pray. Through the years God has been my rock, in many cases my sole support, and my everything—He has never let me down! I have four wonderful children as my testimony of what God WILL and can do because of a praying mother. As we were driving all of a sudden the story of Daniel 1 in the Bible came to my mind—
“Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.
15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.” Daniel 1:12-16
Immediately I felt a sense of peace! Jessica has been searching for holistic places that have medical support and backing and we have look at many interesting sites. The one that has impressed us the most is a place in Colorado that has medical doctors on their staff, conduct their program on medical based practice with research and documentation, but most of all depend on God as the great Physician. Last night my church family came to my home and we gathered together to pray. After we prayed, I felt at perfect peace and decided to totally devote the next 15 days of my life to God and participate in this 2 week holistic program. It is expensive but God has truly opened the windows of heaven and pour His blessings upon us. Meagan is flying with me and will be with me the first five days, they like to have someone with me at all times, but again that is an added expense. What will God do in these 15 days? I do not know, I KNOW He can chose to completely heal me or just give me the spiritual healing and rest that I crave. I love each one of you and I just ask for your prayers that God’s will, will be done! Whatever happens my life is in His hands! My prayer is that my story will touch many hearts and all will realize that our country as we know it is crumbling, all our riches and profits are sandcastles and that Jesus is coming very soon! I love you all and want to see you each in heaven! My favorite verse right now is Psalms 23—
1The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever.